My 19-year-old daughter came up with the witty acronym of B.L.I.N.G. (B asically L iving I nvisible is N ot G ood). It can be tied to a variety of life lessons.
Cochlear implant “bling” and Assistance Dogs
I am a late-deafened adult and I also have Meniere’s disease. Being “late-deafened” is a fancy way of saying that I lost my hearing after I learned oral language. Hearing loss can be mild, moderate, severe or profound. Although all levels of hearing loss affect the way in which a person freely communicates, a person obviously has more serious problems the more severe their hearing loss is. I think part of the reason that HLAA (Hearing Loss Association of America), ALDA (Association of Late-Deafened Adults), and other non-profit organizations for people with hearing loss have trouble attracting new members is that for most people, hearing loss is a nuisance and not a life-changing disability.
According to NCHS (National Center for Health Statistics), there are 37 million Americans who have trouble hearing (NCHS, 2006). A study done by Gallaudet in 2001 reveals that 8 million Americans have difficulty hearing even with the use of a hearing aid (Gallaudet Research Institute, 2007). This leaves approximately 29 million Americans who communicate effectively in spite of a hearing loss. This vast majority of people with hearing loss enjoy the invisibility of their disability as they function well “in spite of”. They “look” like everyone else. They do not have a need for support groups, advocacy or a connection to a non-profit organization because they have no need to identify with the hearing loss group. (I discussed why some people choose to not seek help when they DO have a significant loss here.)
When it became obvious that my own hearing loss was progressive, I began to realize how difficult it is to have an invisible disability. Prior to my cochlear implant in 2005, you would never know I had a disability unless I opened my mouth to speak to you. My speech was beginning to deteriorate just a little bit due to the fact I had not heard my own voice in a number of years. I may have interrupted conversations, not realizing someone else was speaking. I had trouble balancing the volume of my voice and more often spoke to softly than to loudly! Meniere’s disease kindly bestows noticeable symptoms for me when it’s a rainy or overcast day. You would never know it, however, unless I tried to walk a straight line or go up or down steps!
Being surgically implanted with a cochlear implant felt a little bit like a miracle. I could hear my own voice again in most environments and my speech improved dramatically over the period of only a couple of months! Having a cochlear implant does not mean I hear perfectly, however. There are some situations with a lot of background noise or poor acoustical environments that I may have to ask for a “repeat”. I may have trouble following conversations if I’m extremely fatigued. Prior to my implant, I had already adopted bright colored ear molds for my hearing aids and wore my hair up. I found out through a great deal of “trial and error” that it was in my best interests for people to know that I have difficulty hearing. After I received a cochlear implant, I didn’t see the need to change my adopted visibility. I wear “bling” on my CI, and it does draw attention to the fact that I hear but not in a normal way. It allows people to quickly identify that they may need to be sure to face me when they talk, or be aware that if I ask for a repeat it is not because I’m not paying attention. I really believe my “bling” helps other people as much as it helps me.
Having a hearing assistance dog who also does balance related tasks for me, brings attention to my disability as well. If you’ve ever thought about having an assistance dog, but do not like to field questions or have people notice you, then you may want to reconsider. Chloe comes from Fidos For Freedom in Laurel, Maryland. It’s not her bright red vest that gets attention. What makes people notice is simply the fact that she is a DOG! It’s not very often you see a dog in a store, restaurant or even church!
B asically L iving I nvisible is N ot G ood
Recently, God allowed a very mean person to be a part of my life for a short time. I say that GOD allowed this person, because it actually served to remind me that there are bigoted mean people who not only do not understand disabilities, but choose not to understand. Through FaceBook, I ended up “accepting a friend invite” because they were involved with someone I trusted. It didn’t take very long for this person’s true colors to be revealed. Comments left on my uploaded photos or “Notes” and eventually conversations between this person and myself and my husband through “instant messaging”, all revealed how there are still people who don’t “get it”. We received over 45 comments and messages from people astonished that there were still people like this out there! Some people do not realize that disabilities are often invisible. They do not understand that there are good reasons to make an invisible disability… visible! Some people do not understand that disabilities are not chosen. There are some that do not understand that disabilities may not only be life changing, they can be terminal. Many diseases and disabilities are those that shorten a life. God used this person in my life to remind me that some people are not only uneducated about disabilities, but they may willfully choose to believe the worst about those who have them. (It’s a great relief to not have to put up with this person anymore, but I do thank God that it was used to open my eyes!)
For me… basically living invisible is not good. There may be other people with Meniere’s disease or deafness who choose to live another way. I respect that! “Bling” works for me. It reminds even those I know well that in spite of my speaking perfect English (with the exception of a southern accent), I do not hear normally. It reminds them that if I repeat part of what I heard and wait for a repeat of what I didn’t… that it isn’t because I chose to stop paying attention. If I say, “whoa” under my breath and touch the wall in order to snap my visual field back into focus, they are reminded why I have a dog who picks up things for me and “braces”.
“Bling” and an assistance dog both serve to allow me to live with some independence. I don’t have to have family members with me now just to go to the post office or a store.
There are others who know what it is like to have an invisible illness or disability. September 14-20 is “Invisible Awareness Week“. If you or someone you know have an invisible illness, I encourage you to check out this site!
If you do not have an invisible disability, chances are you know someone who does. Do you know some of the strongest advocates for people with disabilities are those who do not have one? Think about it… who will get further with a person who misunderstands the needs, reactions, or communications from a person with an invisible illness or disability? Certainly people who live with invisible illnesses or disabilities should learn to advocate in a positive way. Their ability to do so helps us all! However, if you take a person aside and teach them… explain to them a little bit about another person’s disability or illness, it may mean even more! Every person can be a strong advocate for others.
© 2009 Hearing Loss Journal